Archive for the ‘Dylan Invalid’ Category


Dylan Invalid

February 17, 2008

Dang, once a week for three weeks straight.  This dude’s on a roll of dependability.  Here he is…

Ok, I’m just gonna type this one out all quick like because it just passed three a.m., I’m tired, and I want to watch “The Man With the Screaming Brain.”

Firstly, if you tried to go by Inertia this past Wednesday I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out as I had some shit to take care of.

Second style, if you didn’t go to the RAGER/2LEGIT/TOKYO FACE PUNCH/TALKSICK EARTH show you missed out on some thrash out.

Thirds, a confused old racist tried to fight one of my regulars today over a heated argument regarding the jukebox to TV volume ratio. I tried to make the guy settle down, but the fact that my customers were watching the NAACP Image Awards seemed to make the thing disrespectful to him. “I’m just tryin’ to hear the music in the jukebox and they got the TV over there and blah hyuck blah” I stopped listening and killed the TV volume hoping that would make my new pal happy, but he kept at his speech because he had a point to make. I tune a lot of people out if I simply disagree. It’s like when you’re 15 and drunk and your dad is all yelling at you but in your head all you can hear is Minor Threat.

The regular customer, we’ll call him “Regs” from now on, offers his hand in trying to calm the man down saying something to the affect of “maybe we should all just be quiet and shut up for a little while.” My new favorite racist won’t hear of it and threatens Regs to a fight but it settles down pretty quickly and I resume standing in silent rage and staring at the wall for a tense few minutes. It felt like a million years went by before the jukebox guy ordered another beer, which I denied. He didn’t like this either. As he stormed out he started yelling incoherently saying “Fuck Y’all, Y’all intellectuals are all bullshit” and insulting the heritage of good old Regs. He also called me a “fucking punk” before he stormed out, so I guess we understand each other.

Dudes, I heard people like this are all over the place at other bars in town. Jacksonville Rules!

End notes: Shora is a very brutal band that you should check out.


Dylan Invalid – No Pizza on Saturdays

February 6, 2008

Tex (left) and Dylan (right) at Shanty Town

No Pizza on Saturdays

So I was working up at the old Shanty Town last Saturday afternoon and I happened to muster up a mighty hunger for pizza. I put a sign on the door and started driving to the hot drippy pie spots that I knew about in the area. Nicky G’s was closed. Big Pete’s (Sneaky Pete’s? I forget the name) was also closed. The one by London Bridge was closed too. What gives? I thought to myself. Then I got mad and ate fried chicken in vain. This shit is getting on my nerves. I know something as arbitrary as pizza doesn’t mean much to most people, but it’s serious business for me. Sometimes I think Jacksonville is just Mayberry with a high murder rate. We should just get it over with and change the city’s slogan to a racist joke. Jags did do pretty well this year, though.
Anyhow, I’m still into music. In the heavy-slow category, Harvey Milk is brand new to me. Turns out they’re from Athens and the 20th century. I really don’t know what to say about this band except that I like em, and they do a Leonard Cohen cover. Donnie just got me into Aborted from Belgium. It’s fast, the vocals are growly, the time signatures are all fancy. You know, death metal. I just read that their fans call themselves the Aborted Army and they dress up in surgical gear with blood all over it and their founding member is now in an Israeli grindcore band. Fuck yes. On the other side of things, I can’t get enough of all these lesser-known garage/punk bands from way back. The Speedies are great. The Gizmos are too. They’re both long defunct, but lucky for me the recordings are still out there. It’s fun power-pop type shit that’ll make you pogo in the family room and spill your kool-aid on the rug. And if you’re into them, you’d probably kind of like the Clean Teens ( They’re the bee’s meow.
I’m pretty much out of things to write because I’m a boring guy. So instead, I thought I’d follow Joey’s lead and post links to some bitchin’ MP3 blogs. Enjoy:

End Notes:
I need to book two shows at Shanty ASAP. The dates are 2-15 and 2-16 which is a Friday and a Saturday, respectively. If you’re interested, you can nerd up and find me at And if you want the metal all up in you don’t forget about Hallelujah and His Name Was Iron this coming Saturday at Shanty Town.

The new Crap Hound zine is out. Order yours from here:

And Improv Everywhere got 200+ people to be still for five minutes in the middle of Grand Central Station. Check it out:  


Dylan Invalid

January 29, 2008

We’ve got a weekly guest columnist now!   Look forward to this every Tuesday, and come by Inertia every wednesday to talk about it with Dylan.  Bring a 6-pack too.

Hi, I’m Dylan.

I’m at Inertia on Wednesdays and Shanty Town most of the other time. Nice to meet y’all.

I was telling Josh the other night that I refuse to participate in his “5 Albums that changed my life” inquiry because it’s just too difficult. But holy shit I love talking about music, especially the shit that I like. So Josh, being a rad dude, said I could write pretty much anything I wanted. I’ll do my best to use real adjectives instead of the usual profanity and I’ll keep the Ebonics to a minimum for all you squares out there.

The first person I have to bring up today is Jay Reatard. I’ve been boring the shit out of everyone, telling them he’s a genius, making sure they know how to spell his name, etc. I might tend to get a little excited, but it’s worth it. Reatard’s been making quality pop-punk (pop like Ramones not pop like Yellowcard) rock for a while now (you might remember his old band, the Reatards) and his new solo album “Blood Visions” is pretty much perfect from start to finish. He was also in a band called Lost Sounds which is like Devo/Ramones but more grim. I’m pretty sure both of those records are on the Goner label which boasts some of the coolest bands around right now.

Also kicking ass in my ears lately is the new Pissed Jeans album “Hope for Men.” It’s noisy, awkward, nihilistic sound is perfect for rush hour traffic, shaving, and drinking whiskey all at once. I’ll attempt this task tomorrow.

And then there’s the new Annihilation Time record aptly titled “Annihilation Time II.” If you’re not already familiar, these guys were pretty much Black Flag clones on their first album and they pulled it off really well. I heard diehard fans were pissed when their old singer left and they started to sound like Thin Lizzy, but “AT II” is killer, so fuck them. It’s not as charged or angry as their first one, but it’s not as dad-rock as Baroness’s new one (which I also like). People are just afraid of mad riffage, I guess.

Another one I can’t get enough of is “Here Comes the Waterworks” from Big Business. I saw these guys with the Melvins two Holloweens ago at Jack Rabbits and it quickly became one of the best shows I’d ever been to (except for the fact that some kid split his leg open and I had to shine a flashlight on it). If you’re into heavy stoner rock and epic singing and van-ins, you’ll probably really enjoy the new BB. I know you can find at least one of these bands at Inertia right now, and if we don’t have it in we can order things.

End Notes:

Bob the Samaritan wants you all to support 1460 on your AM dial. It’s Jacksonville’s only progressive news/talk station. Visit them on the web at They also broadcast basketball games.

His Name was Iron and Hallelujah will be at Shanty Town on February 9th and that starts at 10pm. Rager (from Chi-town), Talk Sick Earth, 2 Legit, and Tokyo Face Punch will be there on February 13th. This is an EARLY SHOW because it’s on a Wednesday. Please come support. Bands start at 7:30pm.

Lastly, I need any Jacksonville show flyers that you may have saved from over the years. I’ll scan them in and give em’ back. To see my progress so far check out I’ll upload more as soon as I can afford to go pro.